that's about him

it's not easy to keep something alive when most of time you are apart, it's getting difficult when one person is not really knowing what's going on. I am wondering whether that's the choice I made, yes, I guess, couple of months ago I knew I wanted this, no matter how hard it will be, I know I still want this, no matter how hard it will be.

it will be tough for both, especially for me, who has no patience at all. but the love from your heart can not be denied, I am holding on to it. there are days that you are jealous about others, days that you have tears sleeping at night, and days you feel extremely lonely, is that all worthy it? I would say, yeah, because that's someone I truly love!

Malayisa- I am Eurasian, oh, You are so pathetic!

Dear Fake Eurasian in Malaysia:

I hope you don't mind checking the definition of Eurasian in the dictionary before you call yourself Eurasian, so you can feel that you have something to do with Europe, then you can find your self-esteem.

Eurasian is defined as "describes a person with one European parent and one Asian parent". so if you are the case that your grandparents, or grand-grand parents having something to do with Europe, you are NOT a Eurasian, get it? simple is that!

I know you desperately want to have something to do with European people. but sorry, man! if your parents are Malaysian, you are Malaysian, Malaysia is part of Asia, I say it again, and you can check the map again, in case I am wrong... so you are Asian!!! Face it! you are bloody so fake and so pathetic to call yourself Eurasian! seriously, grow up!

China- The parents never give up

my graduation is approaching, friends studying in China are almost the same. A friend's mum, whose name should be remain unknown, called my dad to ask: ahh... is your daughter finishing her degree yet? where is she going to work ah? my daughter is working in Deloitte Shang Hai...

Chinese parents just can never give up comparing their kids, it seemed how successful their kids are is the same as how successful they are. when you are in school, they compare your school results, therefore, most of Chinese kids going to University doing Accounting, medicine, law... most of time it's not because we like it, it's because our parents can go out to compare us with others.

"my daughter is a lawyer" sounds better than "my daughter is drawing pictures", at least for Chinese people, regardless whether what the children are really interested in.

when you finish school, they compare your final education level; once you start working, they compare where you work, how much you make; you get married, they compare your spouse rich or not, pretty or not; then you have your own child, the compare cycle starting again!

personally i really pity that mum, she is so bored that she has to compare his own child with others to make herself feel better. and that's the sad part.

Millions and millions Chinese parents feel ashamed if their kids not having a good school results, but they just can't understand not every child is academic good, many of them are talent in other ways. Children are God's blessing, not some investment you made that you wish it's free risk and high return. (it comes more particularly true to those having a daughter)

I kept my school results No.1 or No.2 for three years in Middle school, but i never heard my parents said: I am proud of you. I did a simple presentation in college where my Irish friend called me from a different country to tell me he is very very very proud of me.

that's the difference, and that's the sad part.

China- Marry the family

When two Chinese people get married, it's not about two individual's marriage, it's about two family. Especially from the daughter's family, it's about money. before the engagement, the rings, the jewelery, and the dowry. let me explain a bit here why this is existed here.

Chinese family think: I only have one daughter, married daughter is like the water poured out, it will belong to your family, and have your family's next generation, i will have nothing after i spend so many years raise her up. so the dowry is more likely a compensation.

so if you are just looking at the terms, for example, my cousin's engagement dowry is 30000RMB, it's just engagement, roughly about 4498 USD. Hmm... by looking at it, what's the difference with selling your daughter?

once the two people married, they call each other's parents "dad and mum", it must be so difficult to call someone you hardly know dad and mum, too bad, you have to, that's the Chinese way. and from now on, your spouse family is your family too. whether you like it or not, that's it!

it went worse when you have a kid, China's one child policy, so both your parents and your spouse parents want to take care of your kid. 4 grandparents are fighting for one grandchild. Chinse grandparents love involving in your life, remember, we are a family now.

later when the grandparents are getting old, here comes this theory: i help you raise your child, it's your obligation to take care of me now, I am old.

so it's common to see all the middle aged married Chinese couple are busy like headless chicken, working, taking kid to school, going to hospital to visit their parents or parents in laws. if you are in China, you can't complain about it, they are your family, it's your obligation.

So... Good luck!

Malayisa- The holiday

well, in Malaysia there are plenty reasons to have holiday. Malay new year, Chinese new year, and Indian new year, Christmas, and plus several Kings' birthday in different states... Sometimes you don't even know why today is public holiday. oh, Enjoy it, you can't have them in other countries.

Malaysia- A visitor

A unknown visitor appeared in my place this morning, unexpected, yet surprised; or i would use the word: scared shit out of me!

he seemed calm and cheerful for the lovely sun rise, (well, not for me). landing on my cases to have a peaceful chill out, just never expected my unfriendly welcome ended his life in a 10 seconds screaming and a 1 second flash...

Malaysia- The discount math

you can always see all kinds of discount offers here, excluding those direct discount promotion, here are some discount terms you might be confused with:

1. second item 50%

let's say you the first item is 100RM, the second is also 100RM. you will end up to pay 150RM for the two which are worthy 200RM, therefore you get (1-150/200)=25%, and that's the maximum amount you can get.

if you buy two items with different price, the 50% discount will be on the cheaper item. let's say, the first item is still 100RM, the second one is 80RM, you will end up to pay 140RM for 180RM, so you get (1-140/180)=22.22% which is lesser than 25%

2. pay 100RM, then you can enjoy 130RM purchase

this one is not 30% discount, it's 1-100/130=23% discount. because you take out 100RM from your pocket to buy a 130RM goods, you save 30RM on 130RM, not on 100RM

to be continued..

Malaysia- the twisted clock

Malaysian timing is always hard to determined.

"yes, yes, coming soon", "soon"? how many minutes is "soon"? if you really believe that, after another 30 minutes, you might be still waiting.

"yes, yes, on the way", most of time when Malaysian people say that, they are either still in the house, or best situation they just open the car door.

The worst thing is, you can't complain about it, and you can't call your friends many times just to hurry them up, because they will think: oh, what's the rush la? people here live by hours, not by minutes, or by seconds, so half an hour late is not late, it's just on time.

if your are going to a Malaysian party, my advice is no matter what time it is, add another one hour, or you will the first one show up and waiting for the rest.

even classes and meetings: 8am! well, if officially it starts at 8:15am, that's God's blessing!

Good luck folks! for those who are coming here for a living, I am definitely leaving...

Malaysia-DiGi store

Saturday afternoon, stupid enough of me went to DiGi store in Sunway Pyramid to pay bills.

there are two lines of people waiting, but there are only one counter open.
why? oh, welcome to Malaysia!

We were all standing there, but no one came up to ask: how can I help you?

One Malay couple standing in front of me already got very frustrated, the wife tried her best to get the attention of a staff, but she failed. 4 of them were standing behind the counter basically doing nothing, leaning again the counter, maybe trying to figure out why they can't go home with bonus.

there came two Chinese business men, stopped for a minute, turned to me: do they have another DiGi store here?

"I am sorry, I don't think so"

they waited for another 5 minutes, left.

Now back to the Malay couple, finally a short guy came to talk to them, after the wife showing some documents, I heard the staff saying: oh, you can't do it here, you have to go to the main center

the wife: why did you ask me to wait here when I first time show you this?

Staff: oh, sorry la...

Another amusing show is that: a young Chinese woman was standing beside me on the other line earlier, but she had been told to wait to the other counter, so she moved to the ordered place,when she finally started talking to the staff in that counter, this is what she heard: oh, you are waiting in the wrong line la, you should go back there.

within the 30 minutes, how many customers they lost?
-3 walked in and just left
-one couple left with angry
-two business men left with disappointment

total 7!

good business location and good business idea, but not making good money, why? I guess we all know why!

they have enough human resource, but they don't have proper system to make their staff work:
-no clear job delegation
-place more staff in the selling area but leaving more than 15 customers waiting blindly
-no basic staff training
-wrong arrangement of furniture in the store cause crowded queue
-not enough open counters
... ...

Seriously, I only want thing back: My TIME!

Malaysia- Sports shoes please!

I was completely shocked when the first time I saw people playing sports like this. no sports shoes???

Why?

1. financially not capable? -I don't think so

2. too hot to wear them in Malaysia? - that's not true

3. too lazy to put them on? -possible

4. new fashion?- not look like

but have you ever thought about that you might end up injuring yourself without wearing sports shoes? " if you want to play sports, put on your socks and shoes!", is that the most basic thing we learned when we were all kids?
Unfortunately this is just common in Malaysia, I just certainly can not get it. Why can't you do things properly, even the things related to your own safety?

Malaysia-Is the birthday that important?

I have to say people here love celebrating birthdays: a gang of friends, 5 or 6 people, a big fat dinner, flowing up a long session of Karaoke; pictures, videos, next morning, when you check the face book, all the lovely moments are there.

Is that fun? should be! 5 or 6 times a year according to your social size, maybe twice a month? but have you reached the point of getting bored of it or even though just because all of your friends are doing it, you are doing it?

I would not go to the "whether is fun" part as each individual has his or her own definition and the inner side of you know exactly how it felt when you were there. My question is: have you ever thought about the same day, just 20 or 30 or 40 years ago, is the same day that your mum suffered a lot? and for you being here to celebrate it, your parents have contribute way more than you could imagine, but, have you ever done anything to them on your birthday to show your appreciation? or do you really appreciate it?

For those who already have a job, have you taken your parents for dinner or bought anything for them on your birthday?

For my dear students: have you thought of washing your mum's car on your birthday?

Or you still have "I am ENTITLE of celebrating it because is my birthday" attitude?

oh, Grow up, folks!

Malayisa- Slow internet

Ok, Whatever you do in Malaysia will take you longer time in any other normal countries. One good example is to compare it with Singapore, oops, I guess that's a country name people here don't want to hear about.

let's take a look a Internet speed here:

Malayisa- the 50RM

During lunch break, I decided to get myself some candy for rewards, even I usually don't eat them as Mum said no.

you can always find those Indian managed book stores here selling all different kinds of candies. my favorite one would be those less sweet ones. A young Malay lady was standing in the casher:
ohhh...50RM is a big moneeeeeeeeey

"oh, sorry, I just withdraw cash, that's all I have, you don't have change?"

"noooooooo...it's big moneeeeeeeeeey, do you want to buy anything else?"

"nah"

"DiGi prepayment?"

"No, thank you"

"ohhhhhhhhhh, who buys candy using 50RM?" she was rolling her eyes on me

"Ok, never mind" I took back my money and walked straight to the Indian manager, "sir, I am sorry to tell you that your staff would not accept my 50RM to buy that packet of candy, so I decide to buy it next store"

after I left the store, the Indian manger was counting his bulk of 10RM with his staff and asking her why why why...

Classic Malaysia!

Malaysia- Wait, I need to calculate the Bill

I did have a culture shock when the first time I went out for dinner with friends in Malaysia: when the bill arrived, one of them took out the mobile phone and calculated the bill very professionally and accurately to CENT.

Ok, friends, here is the style of what north Chinese people do: 200RM bill, 4 people, regardless whatever you ordered, each one 50RM. done? then make a move!

However when I am here, 200RM bill, according to what I ordered, let's say a 36RM dish, plus tax and service charge, I might get a bill of 42.30RM. 30 cent!

it's nothing wrong to do the Malaysian way, but for my personal experience?--- I feel really embarrassed to calculate the bill on the table, and i am utterly speechless!

Malaysia- cockroach

1.20 am, we had a visitor---cockroach!

Speaking of that, in my entire life in North China, I had never ever saw a cockroach. I heard about its name a lot when I talked to friends living in South part of China. However once I landed in Malaysia, cockroach is just another often visited friend.

"Mum, cockroach here can fly!" first time I saw it and called back home to report the news.

From screaming toward cockroach to managing to kill them, that's a huge step in X girl's life. Just as what I did that night with house mate, by using mosquito sprays and all kinds of other tools we could find by hands, officially and successfully we killed a cockroach!

Female friends, lesson learned, we can be much stronger when guys are not around!

Malaysia-Shopping Mall in the Weekend

I love shopping in Malaysia, but going to a shopping center on the weekend here is just a nightmare!

I really thought only China has the human resource to make a shopping mall crowed, apparently Malaysia has the same power too. Going to the huge shopping centers like: One Utama, KLCC, Pavilion on weekend is just another way to stress you out, or at least stress me out.

I found people here walking very slow when they are shopping, and no one would like to walk on side of road or stand on the left side of the elevator, so other people who are in hurry can actually pass by. In short, the result of that is you have to really fight with human bodies to get where you want.

Another thing I don't really understand is: why do you bring your kids to the shopping mall? Kids here, I am speaking of those small babies. Personally I don't think it's very hygiene for them in such public places, and they are spending most of their time sleeping. what's the big fun for them? they probably think: hey, I am sleeping! can't you people be quiet? Zzzz...

My personal guess is that it's hard to find babe sitters or it's simply a family time here; on the other hand in China, children are left to the grandparents to take care of during the weekend, Chinese grandparents love to be part of the third generation in any way possible, so it's not often to see many babes in the shopping malls back China, I also hope it won't be more in the future either.

United Kingdom-Come on, David Cameron!

Come on, David! you can make it!

Malaysia-leg or feet?

To my dear Malaysian Mandarin speakers:

Whether you know notice it or not, there is a huge difference between leg and foot, not only physically, but also literally.

In Chinese, we have two words to say them:

leg-we call it "tui"-腿

foot-we call it "jiao"-脚

so you can imagine how hard for me to figure out what you mean when you say "oh, her foot is so long" when you actually mean " her leg is so long"

Same story, when we say someone is huge in size, we don't use " da zhi"-大只，because the word "只" is a measure word for animals, for example: chicken, duck, bird etc. (check a dictionary, and you will find it out) Can you imagine how funny for me when I hear that?

Please do not say: "oh, that's Malaysian Chinese!", unfortunately there is not a language called 'Malaysian Chinese' ! all you need is to get on with more vocabularies, or at least to get it right.

Kind regards

X

Malaysia- Inter-racial Marriage

Walking around KLCC, you would very soon realize that there are lots of inter-racial couples in Malaysia. The most popular ones are Caucasian and Asian, but we also have Chinese with India, Chinese with Malay...It sounds like we Chinese are very flexible in this area.

Caucasian with Asian is usually Caucasian male with Asian female, and between them there will be a huge age gap. The first thing comes into your mind would be: Money!

I guess that's very true! at least 90% is true. I am also sure there are cases that they are really deeply in love. However, except the exceptions, here comes the typical story you can hear for hundred times: a gorgeous young Philippine girl got married with an old rich Caucasian guy, and usually the marriage was being reached by getting pregnant, the wedding has to be held in Philippe, or the legal papers are from there. then after one year or two, one day when the guy got back home, the house was empty. House, cars, child are now all belong to the Philippine girl, not mention it might also include your half of other net assets, and if you are stupid enough, you may also buy her family a house in Philippine. It's the oldest grandma story ever, but still, it's happening every day.

Not being bias to Philippine, it might also happen to Thailand girl, China girl, or any other nationality. my question is: if we all know that the girl comes after the money, or most likely for the money, why those guys are still making the same mistakes again and again?

I think there is a paper called "prenuptial agreement", guys, sign it! nothing is for sure. if she tells you that this agreement does not represent true love, tell her that's exactly the way to represent true love: unconditionally accept who you are not what you have.

Sign it, but also make sure you sign the Iron one, not the one can be brought to the court to be argued at the end of day.

Good luck!

Malaysia-Waiting la...

Happy Labor day!

Sports day started today. The black and white time table saying: badminton starts at 8am, all the counter helpers stand by 7:30am at the court.

Here is what real happened:

7:30 am-I am in the badminton court as one of counter helpers, half of players showed up, but the organizer was nowhere

7:45 am-found the organizer in the cafeteria, "hey, all the players there are already waiting, don't you think you should go up, and where are the nets and forms?"

he said:" wait la..."

"it's already 7:45am, games start at 8am "

"just wait la...what's the problem with that?"

the guy who is speaking is only about 18 or 19, and "wait la" can just come out of his mouth, the sad thing is that he didn't think there is anything wrong with "waiting". I do feel deeply sorry for him.

Here are the questions I have:
1.what kind of education producing this kind of wasting time no problem culture?
2.what kind of thoughts is going through his mind that wasting other people's time that is also normal?
3.what's the difference between "killing someone" and "wasting his or her time"?
4. and why 45 minutes flight away from Malaysia, there is a country that can tell you "sir, your taxi is 3 minutes away, thanks for calling"?

For all I can say: alright, my young boy, just wait la, wait until the day you realize how much time you have wasted, or maybe you will never realize that...

Malaysia-Are you a banana?

It's very amusing when I heard people in Malaysia introducing themselves saying: oh, actually I am a banana.

banana? hmm...I know Japanese people say: I am blood type A, what are you? So...BANANA? What am I? an apple or a watermelon?

It's not because I don't know what banana means, apparently it used to describe Asian people who live in western countries, and grow up in a western culture. they look like yellow outside, but they don't have the "yellow culture" inside, their values are developed in a white culture society, they are "white" inside: like a banana!

however, people in Malaysia love to describe themselves as bananas, you can always hear people say: "oh, I don't speak Chinese, I am a banana." and then they will have a very pride look on their face and expect there is a "wow" on your face; unfortunately, most of time I have a question mark on my forehead:

let's take a look at this banana thing closely:

1. Are you holding a Malaysian passport?
2. Were you born in Malaysia?
3. Did you grow up in Malaysia?
4. Is Malaysia part of Asia ?
(last time I check the Google earth, I think Malaysia is still belongs to Asia)

so where is your "white" coming from? because you don't speak Chinese? or because you only speak Cantonese?

why don't you go to introduce yourself to an American guy and say: hey, you know what , actually inside we are same laaaa... I am western too, you know? inside! you just can't see it!

Be pride of who you actually are, outside you are Asian, inside you are Malaysian, oops, still Asian.

Malaysia-the taxi dirver

Taxi driver in Malaysia is an easy job to go, as it's so different from any other countries, they can CHOOSE where they want to go.

the typical conversation usually goes:

customer: KLCC

driver: no la, jam time la

customer: you can use high way?

driver: which way?

customer: the high way!

driver: nahhhhh....

or it goes...

customer: Mont Kiara

driver: where?

customer: Mooooont Kiiiiiara

driver: don't know la

customer: i can show you the way

driver: 20RM

customer: use the meter

driver: nahhh... 20 RM

customer: fuck off!

taxi driver in UK needs to pass certain exams; taxi driver in China knows wherever you want to go, pick a spot, then you are there. taxi driver in Malaysia, you have to tell them how to get there! and it's their choice to say yes or no...