China- Marry the family

When two Chinese people get married, it's not about two individual's marriage, it's about two family. Especially from the daughter's family, it's about money. before the engagement, the rings, the jewelery, and the dowry. let me explain a bit here why this is existed here.

Chinese family think: I only have one daughter, married daughter is like the water poured out, it will belong to your family, and have your family's next generation, i will have nothing after i spend so many years raise her up. so the dowry is more likely a compensation.

so if you are just looking at the terms, for example, my cousin's engagement dowry is 30000RMB, it's just engagement, roughly about 4498 USD. Hmm... by looking at it, what's the difference with selling your daughter?

once the two people married, they call each other's parents "dad and mum", it must be so difficult to call someone you hardly know dad and mum, too bad, you have to, that's the Chinese way. and from now on, your spouse family is your family too. whether you like it or not, that's it!

it went worse when you have a kid, China's one child policy, so both your parents and your spouse parents want to take care of your kid. 4 grandparents are fighting for one grandchild. Chinse grandparents love involving in your life, remember, we are a family now.

later when the grandparents are getting old, here comes this theory: i help you raise your child, it's your obligation to take care of me now, I am old.

so it's common to see all the middle aged married Chinese couple are busy like headless chicken, working, taking kid to school, going to hospital to visit their parents or parents in laws. if you are in China, you can't complain about it, they are your family, it's your obligation.

So... Good luck!

Malaysia- Inter-racial Marriage

Walking around KLCC, you would very soon realize that there are lots of inter-racial couples in Malaysia. The most popular ones are Caucasian and Asian, but we also have Chinese with India, Chinese with Malay...It sounds like we Chinese are very flexible in this area.

Caucasian with Asian is usually Caucasian male with Asian female, and between them there will be a huge age gap. The first thing comes into your mind would be: Money!

I guess that's very true! at least 90% is true. I am also sure there are cases that they are really deeply in love. However, except the exceptions, here comes the typical story you can hear for hundred times: a gorgeous young Philippine girl got married with an old rich Caucasian guy, and usually the marriage was being reached by getting pregnant, the wedding has to be held in Philippe, or the legal papers are from there. then after one year or two, one day when the guy got back home, the house was empty. House, cars, child are now all belong to the Philippine girl, not mention it might also include your half of other net assets, and if you are stupid enough, you may also buy her family a house in Philippine. It's the oldest grandma story ever, but still, it's happening every day.

Not being bias to Philippine, it might also happen to Thailand girl, China girl, or any other nationality. my question is: if we all know that the girl comes after the money, or most likely for the money, why those guys are still making the same mistakes again and again?

I think there is a paper called "prenuptial agreement", guys, sign it! nothing is for sure. if she tells you that this agreement does not represent true love, tell her that's exactly the way to represent true love: unconditionally accept who you are not what you have.

Sign it, but also make sure you sign the Iron one, not the one can be brought to the court to be argued at the end of day.

Good luck!