When two Chinese people get married, it's not about two individual's marriage, it's about two family. Especially from the daughter's family, it's about money. before the engagement, the rings, the jewelery, and the dowry. let me explain a bit here why this is existed here.
Chinese family think: I only have one daughter, married daughter is like the water poured out, it will belong to your family, and have your family's next generation, i will have nothing after i spend so many years raise her up. so the dowry is more likely a compensation.
so if you are just looking at the terms, for example, my cousin's engagement dowry is 30000RMB, it's just engagement, roughly about 4498 USD. Hmm... by looking at it, what's the difference with selling your daughter?
once the two people married, they call each other's parents "dad and mum", it must be so difficult to call someone you hardly know dad and mum, too bad, you have to, that's the Chinese way. and from now on, your spouse family is your family too. whether you like it or not, that's it!
it went worse when you have a kid, China's one child policy, so both your parents and your spouse parents want to take care of your kid. 4 grandparents are fighting for one grandchild. Chinse grandparents love involving in your life, remember, we are a family now.
later when the grandparents are getting old, here comes this theory: i help you raise your child, it's your obligation to take care of me now, I am old.
so it's common to see all the middle aged married Chinese couple are busy like headless chicken, working, taking kid to school, going to hospital to visit their parents or parents in laws. if you are in China, you can't complain about it, they are your family, it's your obligation.
So... Good luck!
